Dirty Tricks are as common in politics as sleazy pols, but the latest Trump mess has escalated into the skanky “ho” of dirty tricks.
And how apropos is that — considering that all these Russian dirty tricks began with a report about Trump and peeing hookers in a Moscow hotel suite?
It has since grown into a massive tumor fed by lies and daily revelations of things too weird to imagine including secret meetings between Trump’s top campaign people, a former Russian agent, a sleazy promoter and a half-baked Russian lawyer.
Worse, that Russian lawyer, Natalia Veselnitskaya, with whom Donald Trump Jr., Jared Kushner and campaign manager Paul Manafort were so eager and happy to meet with has, yes, links to the firm that produced the disgusting and unproven dossier about Trump and Russian hookers in the first place.
So don’t be shocked if it turns out that Hookergate is at the heart of it all. Ironically, this meeting was set up to expose how Hillary Clinton had shady dealings with the Russians!
Presidential damage control expert Mark Corallo even said in a statement a few days ago, “Specifically we have learned that the person who sought the meeting is associated with Fusion GPS, a firm which, according to public reports, was retained by Democratic operatives to develop opposition research on the President and which commissioned the phony Steele dossier.”
Damage control? That’s like hiring Charles Manson as your mouthpiece.
Corallo’s touting that the highest-ranking men in the Trump campaign met with a woman with ties to the firm that compiled the then-still-secret scandalous dossier makes the meeting’s intent sound even darker than it was purported to be.
On Friday, we found out that a reportedly former counterintelligence officer-turned-American “lobbyist,” Rinat Akhmetshin, also attended that meeting.
The only Russian agents missing from Donny Jr.s’ meeting were Boris and Natasha from “Rocky and Bullwinkle.”
As all of this was unraveling, President Trump shamelessly applauded Donald Jr. for his transparency — after the fact — and then ludicrously announced another transparency: the border wall.
Yes, he’s decided it too should be not just see-through but smaller.
How about finishing it off with some cheesy brass trim and putting his name on it, too?
Why the insanity of even suggesting a giant glass wall? Well, because, he said, “As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you in the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.”
Yes, it does sound horrible, and more importantly, it sounds extremely crazy.
And then when the week-in-Trump couldn’t get worse, it did — in the “you can’t take this guy anywhere” vein.
As the President and First Lady were arriving in France, The Donald couldn’t help but to give French First Lady Brigitte Macron the once-over, declaring her to be in great shape.
She didn’t return the “compliment.”
No surprise there.
TRUMP’S MIRANDA WARNING
If Donny Jr. had invited any more Russkies and Trumpskies into that room where it happened, the Trump chump would have had to have hired a ballroom.
Maybe Lin-Manuel Miranda should just sum up the whole disaster that is the Trump “presidency” with “Donaldton The Musical.”
While “Hamilton” is about the brilliance of our founding fathers, “Donaldton” could be a rap about the idiocy of our current loser fathers — the crooks and creeps who are running our country right into the tank.
Take Miranda’s brilliant song, “The Room Where it Happened.” With one or two word changes, he could sum up the dumb, if not traitorous, Donny Jr.’s attempt at holding a secret meeting with agents of a foreign, hostile country in song.
The room where it happened
No one really knows how the game is played
The art of the trade
How the Kolbasa gets made
We just assume that it happens
But this time EVERYONE was in
The room where it happened.
Listen, Lin baby, just between you and me, this could be a winner! And I hear — again just between us — that the Trumps know a good music promoter they could hook you up with.
You could even meet in the room to make it happen.
CAITLYN BOOSTS THE ‘STUPID’ QUOTIENT
Caitlyn Jenner, guest hosting on “The View,” said she understands why Rob Kardashian was “stupid” for releasing private nude photos of Blac Chyna, the mother of his child. “Guys — I know, I used to be over on that team — can be really stupid and do stupid things,” she said.
Ah, no? Actually, Rob’s an idiot because Blac Chyna is the mother of his child and it’s time they all started acting like parents concerned with the child’s welfare, not their own. Jenner, sounding more like the stupid man she used to be, topped it off by saying, “I … never met the kid.”
Shake it: After President Trump shook French President Macron’s hand with his usual bizarre push-and-pull for a full 25 seconds, the French First Lady did the same to the American First Lady. It was like French WWE …
Between the hot cheats: J. Lo reportedly hired a private eye to spy on A-Rod, whom she suspected of catting around. Anybody here have a whole name? Anyway, it’s a rule: If you hook up with a man who cheats the way other men go to work, chances are good he’s not going to become irreversibly monogamous. There’s as much chance of that happening as there was of her former boy toy giving up male peep shows.